Empower yourself with books or videos on how to train your child to sleep. Talk to your pediatrician. Reach out to friends who have successfully trained their children to sleep.
Put supports in place — someone to call or talk to when your child is crying or testing the limits to help keep you on track. Be certain you’re ready to follow through.
Whether you use an aid to help your child learn the routine or your child is independent enough to prepare for bed without one, stand close to offer support. A relaxing environment with plenty of praise will make the routine more successful. Minimize yelling and chaos.
Once in bed, your child will most likely test you with requests for water, bathroom, or statements that he can’t sleep. This is where the real work begins, so you need to remember why you decided to structure your child’s bedtime. It is a fact that a well-rested child displays less misbehaviors. It is also a fact that a well-rested child will function better in all areas, including school. Remember this as your child tries to negotiate, get out of bed or push you to the limit.
Be prepared to dedicate an entire evening to bedtime training for the first night, but much less time for the second and third nights. Statistically, according to Dr. Richard Ferber, director of the Center for Pediatric Sleep Disorders in Boston, most children learn to follow a bedtime routine within three nights, although some take two, while others test for four or five nights.
Remember, your child has nothing to lose by negotiating or crying for an hour or more. He only stands to win if you give in and teach him that you can’t withstand his tears. When your child gets out of bed, calmly and lovingly say “It’s time for bed now.”
Do not respond to requests or pleading if your child has already had that last drink and has used the bathroom. Without further words, walk your child back to bed and tuck him in. He may pop right back out! With no verbal communication, eye contact, or moans and groans from you, move him back to bed and cover him up. Sit near the door where your child can see you, but do not face your child. Just be there to place him back into bed, without communication.
